by Jessica Gottlieb on March 21, 2010 · 1 comment
We went to drive some Subarus and Jane asked for money for a Crunch Bar.
“No honey,” I said, ” we don’t eat Nestle products.”
“But I want a Crunch bar, I love them.”
“Jane, Nestle tells moms that they should use baby formula, and in some of those countries the water is unsafe so the babies die.”
She looked at me puzzled, so I continued, “and Nestle also cuts down the rainforest to make KitKat bars, and the apes have nowhere to live.”
“Oh my gawd Mom,” she replied, “Please don’t let them take away M&M’s.”
by Jessica Gottlieb on March 20, 2010 · 5 comments
My husband and parents keep asking me what I want for my birthday.
I’d like to play tennis or maybe take a hike. I have everything I ever wanted, so I don’t really want any gifts.
Well, there is one thing.
I want chickens. I want backyard chickens for eggs and for fun. I’d love to have fresh eggs every day, and nothing feeds your flowers quite like chicken poop. My dream is to get the Araucana chicks that are a day old from McMurray along with a nice hutch for them.
I’ve been asking Mr. G to let me have chickens (just a few maybe 2-4) for the past five years or so. I’m pretty sure he’s still thinking he’s against it, but Mom and Dad, if you want to make me really happy for my 40th Birthday, you’d change his mind. And, no, I have no clue how to get him to change his mind.
I just thought that public begging might work.
by Jessica Gottlieb on March 19, 2010 · 2 comments
I got a phone call from New York. Someone at the corporate offices is helping me with the iPhone. They have agreed to the help as much as they can, and it seems there was a misunderstanding.
Apparently there is a manager on duty (oh gee what a surprise), apparently there is a head of security (another revelation) and though the General Manager and the guys from corporate were incredibly kind and contrite, the Sheraton Universal has a lot of work to do. According to the General Manager they lined up the valets and the banquet servers (I dunno why?) and called “Andy Garcia’s” cell phone number hoping for a ring. If that did happen I sure do thank them for trying, and had anyone called me to let me know (a two minute process) I would have been satisfied. Of course we all know that didn’t happen.
I hear everyone’s atwitter about Nestle now. I tried to warn them, there’s no calling things off now.
You know how my iPhone is missing? Well, I didn’t disconnect it, because I thought one of two things would happen:
- Someone would find it and return it to me
- I would find it wedged between a sofa cushion
Well, that didn’t happen. The last time I used my iPhone I was on my way to the Sheraton in Universal City, California. I called my friend Jeannie and we had a lovely discussion. Then I parked the car with the valet and ran into a lobby meeting with my friend MeMe. I had a great time meeting with MeMe, and it’s possible that I left my iPhone behind, or that it was stolen. I do not know if the phone was pick pocketed or lost. What I do know is what happened next.
Thursday morning I realized I had only one cellphone so I called my iPhone to see if it was working. It was. Next I checked with ATT.com to see if it had been used, it hadn’t. So I continued looking for it. I called security at the Sheraton in Universal City twice daily from Thursday until Tuesday. Of eight phone calls, one was returned, and I was barely acknowledged. After a week I figured it wouldn’t show up at all.
Today, Thursday, a week and a day later I logged onto ATT.com to see if my cellphone had been used. Imagine my surprise when I saw this.

Not very interesting until you note that all of a sudden I’m calling Mexico? Well, naturally I started with the first number 818.399.6109 and dialed it. The conversation went like this.
ME: Hey man, I missed your call. You at work?
HIM: Yeah, I’m up here at the Sheraton Universal.
ME: [screaming] You sack of shit motherfucker what’s your name?
HIM: Andy
ME: Andy what?
HIM: Garcia.
Duh. Okay, so my temper isn’t helpful.
I called the hotel at 818.980.1212 and Ana answered the phone at the front desk. Ana told me that there is no Manager at the hotel. This is at 5pm. I spoke to someone at the executive offices who took my information, promised to “get to the bottom of this” and then had security call me. Security is named Marcos. Marcos was not helpful. Apparently he “did an investigation” and cannot help me.
I called the Sheriff’s department and they told me it’s a felony. An iPhone is more than $400 and they will take a report and (hopefully) make an arrest.
I called Sheraton’s corporate offices, they are nonplussed and say that they have five days to respond. If I was a hotel and had a thief in my employ I’d move much faster than five days. But I don’t work at the Sheraton do I.
I’m smart enough to not stay a Sheraton. Since the car incident I absolutely refuse. Unfortunately, I will also never park at a Sheraton again, nor meet a friend or business associate for drinks.
Ooh, and I almost forgot, when I called them to ask for their help. Rather than connecting me with a hotel manager, they searched for my blog.

Which didn’t really help me very much, but it did convince me that they probably don’t have my best interest at heart.
UPDATE:
I know this is being read at the Sheraton Universal. I’ll be there shortly to meet with y’all. If you know who has my iPhone and you can get it back to me please text or call 818.212.0681 there is a reward, no questions asked. My offices are located at 15030 Ventura Blvd. Suite 19356, Sherman Oaks, CA 91403. You can send it there. Again, no questions asked. I know at least one of you knows who has it, I’m giving you a chance to do the right thing. He is probably from Querretaro. How many people working at the Sheraton last night are from Querretaro?