Eff You Lady: Adventures in Head Lice

by Jessica Gottlieb on August 17, 2008 · 7 comments

Dear Myla’s Mother,

Fuck you.

I could end the letter there but I won’t. I’d like to elaborate on why you can go fuck yourself.

This house has been head lice free for almost a month. Why? Because when my daughter had them I took care of her. We stayed home for a few days to get the job done.

When your daughter had head lice you sent her to camp. How do I know this? Because my daughter told me so. Myla explained to the girls that she only had a few left.

Not. Okay.

So, Myla’s Mommy, I’d really like to let you know that I’m over you. I’ve never met you in person, and your daughter (by all accounts) is lovely. But you are on my shit list.

This time I’m using the Robi Comb. My aunt is a school nurse and recommended it.

xoxo
Jessica

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Back to School Tomorrow: Head Lice Shampoo Today Happy Heads Review : Eco Child’s Play
September 2, 2008 at 11:36 am

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Ellen August 18, 2008 at 4:58 pm

What a bitch.

Both the “mother” and having to deal with lice again.

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2 Binary Blonde August 19, 2008 at 1:09 pm

I would be just as pissed. I am a little OCD, too, and I can’t even fathom the hysterics I will throw if (when? God forbid) they ever set foot on our boy’s head. It’s making me itch even thinking about it. Ugh.

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3 Ann August 19, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Oh for f’s sake. “A few”? What is that? And if she has herpes and had cold visible cold sores, is she all “I only have a few, it’s cool”. She should join Mensa.

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4 Miche August 19, 2008 at 4:05 pm

I sure wish I knew about that when my kiddos were little. When I think about the time and money spent, not to mention the tears…

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5 Kim August 24, 2008 at 8:13 pm

I thought they needed a doctor’s note or something to rejoin after having lice. Or is that just at school?

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6 Susan September 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Great post. I just wish you could let loose and really speak your mind. As you read on Chicago Moms Blog, we had a lousy weekend, but this isn’t our first encounter with a lice scare. One of my sons has eczema and we have to be very careful with what we put on his skin. I’ll try your green recommendation.

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