I’m tired of hearing people equating obesity with race, hence the discrimination.
I can’t carry my 7 year old on my back all day long and still have a good quality day. He’s 50 pounds or so. Many of you “fat acceptance” bloggers have lots more than 50 pounds on you. Stop pretending it’s okay. You are dying and some of you are killing your kids. That has me irate.
It’s got to suck to be morbidly obese. I can’t imagine laboring to get out of bed, oh, wait I can, you see I was HUGE when I was pregnant. It’s not a way to live your life.
Here’s the deal, you stop pretending that 9 year olds with man boobs are in a “phase” and I’ll do everything I can to support you in your new, life affirming lifestyle.
Because fat acceptance is kinda like cancer acceptance. You’re killing yourself and you sound like an asshole when you talk about it.
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I LOVE that you said this! It is totally true!!
Ha. Cancer acceptance.
Fat acceptance IS bullshit! I also believe that parents who allow their children to become obese should be required to take nutrition courses and put on parental probation until they get their start behaving like responsible parents. Just because the drug is shaped like a twinkie and a doughnut, doesn’t mean it isn’t child abuse.
Tell it like it is!
Thank you!!!
I don’t think any kind of acceptence is bullshit. In this town( los angeles), if not this world I think fat people put up with a lot of hurtful comments, and if they can find a way to better about their appearance, more power to them. The bullshit, to me, is that everyone is suppose to look like a runway model from the craddle to the grave.
I respect your opinion Elise, but have to agree to disagree. There are many types of behaviors that I find unacceptable. For example: if my husband had an affair. That qualifies as not acceptable. My boss wanting a blowjob for me to get a promotion at work, yep unacceptable. My daughter wants her navel pierced. Nope, not ok with me. The meth addict wants the pin number to my atm card, not acceptable. My daughter could ask for beer and pizza for dinner every night, nope not acceptable. A normal teenage boy wants to rent a limo and take my daughter to a school dance. He has been branded unacceptable and will NOT be attending the dance with her. The gay boy in her gay/straight alliance at school will be her date. I approve of him, he is acceptable. It’s NO secret in my home, I prefer my daughter to go to prom with a gay boy. Why? Because I think she has the best chance of NOT having her night ruined with alcohol, condoms and really disappointing first time sex with a drunk teen in a cheap hotel room. She is worthy of WAY better treatment then that. The best part is, she knows she deserves better and wants a really great gay guy that LOVES to dance to take her to the prom. Prom is more fun with a guy who loves to dance! YAY! My husband thinks my idea is crazy, but I am determined to teach my daughter that she can have a blast, stay sober, stay a virgin and enjoy her high school memories forever, because they will be filled with no regrets.
Crap, I am totally off topic again………. Hang on………….. I have to refocus………………….Here we go…………….Underweight runway/fashion models are no healthier than the obese. They are just on the other end of the spectrum. I have managed to raise a child who (according to her physician) has maintained a HEALTHY body weight for the 10 plus years he has been her doctor. She is bombarded with images of women with very unhealthy body weights. What I like about our doctor, is that he asks her how SHE feels about her body weight before telling her how he views her weight from a medical standpoint. He makes sure she understands what healthy weight and hollywood weight is, and that she is a size 8 and is normal and physically fit for her age. She has ashtma now, which inhibits her desire to run, but she is active. My sister is obese, and by that I mean WAY off the charts by a lot( over 150 lbs too much). It began as the fault of my mother’s inability to appropriately deal with a sick baby/toddler. It grew into a major problem by 1st grade and has continued into adulthood. My sister is 34, never dated, no boyfriends, rents a bedroom from me in my home. Yoyo diets don’t work. She kept repeating that her metabolism was shot from years of yoyo diets. I simply had her eat a breakfast shake( filled with psyillium husk poweder, flax seed oil and fresh fruit and yogurt) instead of starbucks and lo and behold, her metabolism kicked in and she lost 20 lbs without dieting or exercise. She was pretty amazed, but not enough to change I guess, and is back to her comfy habits of binge eating after work at night, hiding away in her room.
I love my sister. I am sad that she is sad that she is unmarried, still a virgin and not living on her own at age 34. I can’t fix her. She has to make the choice. Put down the fast food and pick up some carrot sticks. I stopped purchasing soda, and would you believe my family didn’t die of thirst? Yep. My teen found out she likes herbal unsweetened iced tea, and ice water, even rice and soy milk.
I accept that my sister is obese. I love who she is on the inside. I don’t for one second accept that her eating disorder is any different than that of anorexia or bulemia. She binge eats, for a multitude of reasons.
I don’t find it acceptable that people are literally eating themselves to death and I’m not going to nod my head and pat them on the back and tell them it’s ok. Type 2 diabetes is NOT ok. I should know. I was almost 37 when my doctor told me ” you are overweight and your bloodwork says you have type 2 diabetes”. I was devastated. The big elephant in the room at my family reunions is that 4 out of 5 aunts and uncles have it, so did BOTh grandparents and 2 of my 4 great grandparents. So I took my information and prescriptions for all the testing crap I needed to check blood sugar and went on a frenzied search for how to get rid of it.
Guess what! Milk, even fat free, has just as much SUGAR as whole milk. I drank a LOT of milk with my latte’s hot or iced and thought fat free meant healthier. It didn’t. Asking for sugar free vanilla didn’t matter either, since the milk had 14 grams of sugar all by itself! I also stopped eating animals. I went vegan. Within the month, my symptoms of diabetes were gone. I am 40 lbs lighter, happier, had my knee surgery and still don’t have ANY signs of type 2. My doctor is happy also.
I KNOW my sister will either have a stroke, heart atack or get diabetes before she hits 40. Why would I ever think that’s ok? My doctor stated that diabetes is like alcoholism, once you have it you always have it. I am a “diet and exercise controlled diabetic”. Yes, he will forever monitor my blood work. But it’s been 14 months, and I haven’t had a bad test result. So I know fat, I have felt the effects, it’s NOT ACCEPTABLE to hurt yourself and expect the world to stand silently by. Amy Winehouse is a drug addict. Her family is trying to reach her, they in no way accept her addiction to be “ok”. Food can be just as destructive to the human body. You CAN love the person, without loving the addiction. Type 2 diabetes is preventable. We only get one body. I spent the first few years of my daughter’s life getting lectured by MY mom on how strict I was with food. I refused to allow my child any candy for her daily snacks. A piece of candy here or there for halloween/christmas etc. was rare. My 17 yr old WANTED a fruit bouquet instead of a big cake, but I still had cupcakes there. Mostly for the fun visual of her blowing out all the candles. But still, cake. My daughter doesn’t fill her school back pack with crap. She fills it with premade baggies of carrots and sugar snap peas and will even throw caution to the wind and throw in an apple or oranges! When Santa delivers presents to our home, he fills her sock with pomegranates and clementine oranges, NO candy. She is delighted every year when she wakes up to find her favorite fruits in her sock. What I figured out is, that sometimes our parents have good intentions, but are still fallible and make mistakes. My mother didn’t understand what I was trying to accomplish. I intentionally allowed my daughter to eat as much fruits and vegies as she wanted when she was little, praising her for trying new things, and she’ll still make brussel sprouts for lunch sometimes on weekends. I modeled healthy eating habits and she is making healthy choices on her own now without my nagging or needing my guidance. She disliked pizza until junior high. What teen hates pizza? well, mine. Loaded with carbs and cheese and fatty toppings, we didn’t eat it very often.
Why can’t we all just be truthful. If being fat was healthy and helped you live a longer, more productive happy life, we’d all be doing it. Truth is, the percent of obese adults and children gets larger every year. So do the illnesses associated with it. My high school track teacher caught me with a bag of fries at lunch one day. He threw them in the garbage can, scolded me on poor eating habits and went and bought me a half of a sandwich without mayo and an apple. I missed my fries, but it was the first time an adult had taken the time to teach me that just because it is convenient and tastes great, doesn’t mean I should eat it. Thanks Mr. Turentine. I’ve owed you that thank you for 23 years.
So now that my post has gone on forever, what I really meant to say is, yes, sometimes acceptance of inappropriate things really IS bullshit. I think that women who don’t shave their legs or arm pits are gross when they wear clothing that exposes the hairy truth. I will not accept their choice. I may not say anything to them, but I won’t be hanging out with them either. They choose not to shave, just as the obese choose not to exercise or eat in a manner that will support a longer life expectancy. We all make hundreds of choices everyday that are big and small. Choosing an apple instead of a doughnut is a positive choice. Choosing a big mac instead of a salad with a healthy dressing is a bad choice. Making bad choices consistently over time makes you fat. Choosing to park further away from the mall entrance is a good thing (exercise). Needing a handicap sign and a motorized wheelchair because your legs are no longer able to support your weight is a bad choice. See where I’m going with this? We can accept that people have food addictions, drug addictions, porn addictions, you name it, someone is addicted. I may be addicted to this blog and can’t stop typing at 2AM.
I live with the obesity issue in my home every day. I love my sister. My daughter loves her auntie. I grieve for her that she doesn’t have a guy to love her, or children to cuddle with and read bedtime stories to. She knows in her heart she is making poor choices. I can’t fix her, only she can. Do I accept her obesity and love her anyway? I love her, not her choices on exercise or eating. I offer her healthy alternatives, sometimes she humors me, sometimes she doesn’t. She picks up the fork, orders the big mac, frappacino and dips french fries in mayo(gross!). I cannot stop her. I have no more power than if she were an alcoholic. I can dump the vodka down the sink, but they’ll just go get the mouthwash. And pick up more vodka later. If you were faced with someone YOU loved who was intentionally acting in a manner that was dangerous and destructive, you would be supportive and accepting? Separating the addiction and the person is necessary when discussing this issue. If you are obese,it’s simple math. You are taking in more calories than you are burning. I don’t want to go to my sister’s funeral. I don’t like having to see the tears welling up in her eyes when she talks about all her college friends having new babies, hubbies, etc. She is robbing herself of life. Why would I ever be accepting of it? When will it be my turn to be the auntie? Too much touchy feely politically correct bullcrap is infesting our society. We are turning into sheeple. Sometimes, truth is ugly. But just because it’s hard to address, doesn’t mean we should just accept it so we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t want to see obese people in magazines wearing bikini’s. No one does. I adore Jamie Lee Curtis. She stood without makeup in her underwear to prove a point. Real women are beautiful, with wrinkles, ugly veins on legs, sagging boobs and cellulite. They don’t have to be a runway model to be beautiful. Just healthy. Seen the ads with the naked women on them? Dove pro age. Not runway skinny models. Just REAL WOMEN with REAL BODIES. Healthy. Beautiful. Obesity is unhealthy. By default, not acceptable, just ask any doctor. The new trendy copout to obesity? Gastric bypass. The next big “diet” trend to ruin the next generation of kids. Eat crap, don’t exercise, get surgery and viola!! you are not fat for 3 years. Then oops! You didn’t stop making bad choices and your fat again! more surgery? what if you die during surgery, like my 34 yr old friend who left behind 5 kids and a husband. Gastric bypass is the new cool thing to do. My sister wants to do it. She had to promise to wait until my daughter was an adult in college before she gets it done. I am hoping I can talk her out of it. I’m making her wait because losing her would devastate my daughter. My daughter does not need devastation in her senior year of high school.
Sorry Jess, for rambling on and on and on and on……. OK, it’s 2:30am now. I seriously need some sleep.
Oh, and I love the articles you are writing for the eco friendly website! I will have to send you a reusable grocery bag from our mission team fundraiser(my big idea). We are selling the coolest looking grocery bags for 3 bucks. They are burgundy with amazing 3 color graphics and say “Don’t do life alone”. We are also doing an ewaste fundraiser on the 23rd. We have 2500 grocery bags to sell. I keep praying they get delivered quickly so we can get em sold! I’d love to see more organizations selling eco friendly products to raise money instead of candybars or cookie dough.
Sorry again for rambling on and on. Crap it’s now 3am. I am leaving I promise!!!!!!!!
I don’t disagree with any of the health risks to the morbidly obese. My point is only that everyone should be allowed to love themselves. It is only from that place that we can begin to take care of ourselves. I’m glad that you have been able to take care of yourself and family in such a healthy way and hope your sister will find her way soon.
P.S. My sister went to the prom with a gay friend and I too think its the only way to go. Though it won’t necessarily elliminate alcohol from the evening.
Look, as a fat guy I accept that my lifestyle is unhealthy and unattractive. I further accept that I’m the only person responsible for my actions.
That being said, I don’t understand why you have to be hurtful about it. Do you think I don’t realize I’m fat? Or is it that I don’t understand the consequences of being fat? I’m reminded of these things every day. Seriously, don’t you have better things to do than to lash out at people over the internet.
Here’s a suggestion: If you really get off being a bitch to people about the choices they’ve made in their life, why don’t you go down to the cancer ward (in person) and tease some elderly smokers? That way you get all the satisfaction of really twisting the knife and no one can call you a coward.
You’ve got it all wrong.
What’s hurtful is the “fat acceptance” movement. They’re the ones who cater to your feelings. I’m catering to your health. Get up, move and eat less.
If you need help, I’d help you. If you want someone to pretend that it’s about looks I’m not your gal.
And don’t try and tell my kids that obesity doesn’t kill.
Just don’t.
Great job joining in to the ranks who aren’t buying Fat Acceptance’s cover story.
When you dig into the movement it really gets ugly. It isn’t about “acceptance” so much as glorification of obesity.
Wow. Does it make you feel better about your life choices to be such a bitch?
The problem with “fat accepters” is that they lie to themselves and others. The belief of a lot of fat people that they eat very little, has been enshrined into a movement. Nobody is a metabolic miracle who can work out 2 hours/day and eat 800 cals/day and not lose weight! Scientific studies have shown that people who claim things like that are deceiving themselves.
And they try to pretend that being fat isn’t unhealthy, and they pretend that obesity isn’t increasing, saying that it’s only been redefined too include slimmer people, which is BS.
You can try to be “fat and fit”, but the extra weight is still putting a lot of stress on your body. Fat is pro-inflammatory, too, and it’s a risk factor for many cancers, like breast cancer. I don’t know of any research that suggests that “fat and fit” people aren’t at extra risk for these cancers.
The reason for the fat acceptance movement is just that it’s very hard for people to lose weight, we are around food all the time and you have to eat to live. You can’t just quit food, you have to be always restraining yourself. And it’s a lot harder to lose weight than not to gain it in the first place. And, some people are genetically more liable to gain weight.
I like to tell people who are overweight – just get in shape to the point where you can do a hard aerobic workout for 90 minutes/day. A *hard* aerobic workout, where your heart is going 80% of max, say. At some point, it’s not possible if you do that, to stay fat.
But it’s also not fun to move a fat body around. A lot of fat people just wouldn’t work out that much because of that.
I’ve never mooed at anybody in my life and discrimination against fat people isn’t right. But the lies they tell aren’t right, they are harmful.
I take it back about a hard aerobic workout being 80% of your max heartrate, I can go indefinitely with my heartrate about 90% of max. Although that’s after training a lot, you become able to work out at higher heart rates comfortably after training.
Great read and I agree totally! Fat acceptance is total bullshit!
Fat Acceptance is not the denial that obesity carries with it health risks.
It’s just that we think you shouldn’t hate people for dying earlier than you do. Bigoted asshole.
I don’t hate you.
You know the friend that says, “Please stop killing yourself?” I’m her.
Don’t accept it. Fight it. The people who want you to accept it are selling you death.
I have to disagree, I do want all of us to be healthy, but health risks does not define one person based on size. There are plenty of considered thin people who are unhealthy and have bad eating habits but since they’re visually not fat they’re visually considered healthy which is biased. Look at Micheal Jackson he’s suffering from lung problems, people with cancer the Tour De France bike rider Lance Armstrong, Natalie Cole is extremely sick. Bernie Mac passed for health reasons and he wasn’t fat, so did alot of other celebs, I haven’t seen any of the so called fat celebs die yet. There’s a difference between being obese and having a little meat on your bones.
If the world is quote on quote too obese and it can supposedly kill then why aren’t I seeing fat people dropping dead left and right? I see far more reports of cancer killing people who aren’t fat than a few extra sugar packets.
We live in a world where image is the main resource. I know women and men who aren’t size 0-6’s who are active and eat proportonately. What about the supermodels who under eat and are way underweight for their height and weight? Being extremely thin is just as health risky and pose the same health risk as quote on quote being fat but alot of doctors are biased and they won’t tell you that.
These weight loss reality shows and infomercials exaggerate things too much and makes it seem as if a person who isn’t chizzled or thin like a model is the worst person in the world. Other countries don’t discriminate like this only in America.
How come we can’t fight anorexia, and bulimia but we can crack down on fat people? Sometimes it’s not about health it’s about image how many women and men we can get to look like the celebrities, and some of these celebrities when you see them in person they’re way thinner than what pictures assume they’re perfect.
It’s funny because in the 19th century on back there wasn’t a high percentage of obese people in society because there wasn’t any particular body image that people had to live up too especially women. But yet people was healthier, as time progressed “THIN” and unrealstic skinny women became the ideal beauty and people rebelled against those images therefore sparking high obesity rates.
Like I said there’s a big difference between obese and having a little meat on your bones. I want to see people crack down on accessive drinking, smoking and usage of bad body chemicals as much as they do a person who’s ribs or isn’t diesel and cut up. Because when the New Years started I heard the praising of acohol drinking on New Years and people giving after booze tips on how to treat hangovers, just so biased.
It’s not about eating less it’s about eating proportionately, telling people to not eat or not eat enough is what sparks anorexia, there’s unread and unseen articles out there about weight bias that no one ever let’s get into the media because the world is so anti-fat and pro- stick thin.
There’s a study that showed fat women live longer than they’re smaller counterparts but no one knows it exist because we live in a world that’s anti-fat and pro-stick thin.
Like I said there’s no study that says body size determines health, even health officials said the BMI scale isn’t accurate 100%. As long as a person stays moving and eat proportinately not less or more they’re good. We’re only suppose to work out 30 minutes a day 3 times a week.
I’m not a 0-6 but I’m healthy and if fat people or hefty people want to be accepted then let them be accepted, it’s far more people dying quicker from cancer, bullets, and other things than a person with alittle meat on their bones.
I have to pull you up on stating that ‘only America’ discriminates on the basis of weight. That is untrue and makes you come across as ignorant.
Please travel.
N’s post is the stereotypical bullshit propaganda that fat advocates like to spew. They like to deflect their situation by pointing out other eating disorders and illnesses such as anorexia. However, the amount of people that are dying from anorexia does not even come CLOSE to those that are dying from health related problems to obesity. You’ll also notice that most fat advocates are under the age of 60 – and that their bodies have not yet suffered the effects of obesity. They would rather push the source of the problem under the rug and cover it with a movement about how they are treated unfairly. It’s just very sad is all.
Au contraire dear Aimee. N’s post seems to be the only one with an ounce of reason in here.
There are no accurate statistics that show a link between “obesity” and death. Just because an obese person has clogged arteries, or get’s diabetes, doesn’t mean his/her weight caused it, but the junk/chemicals/transfats that he/she eats, that incidentally also makes one gain weight.
Also, the CDC is definitely anti-fat biased. The centers of disease control and presentation has reported 25,814 deaths due to obesity a year in the United states, while the CDC came up with 365,000.
Wow, I can see valid points in both discussions here.
I agree that we shouldn’t have pressure put on us to be runway models as Elise said — and I also agree that the “fat acceptance movement” tends to gloss over the ill-effects of obesity.
I wish we could all find the happy medium of this somehow.
I don’t know where I stand on this. I do wear a size 14 in jeans, am not a stick…but do wear my weight well. I can run for as long as I need to, love fruits, the thought of fast food grosses me out, and usually drink water .
Yet people don’t see that, instead they see the little lonjas (Or “love handles as you call them in English) and then think up of all the negative qualities associated with morbidly obese people.
*That* is what bothers me. I am very well aware of what is wrong with my health, and all of that, and I can see why the 0-6 jean sized people are grossed out by 6+, I really can and don’t blame them…but at the same time, I do wish people could consider the fact that us on the other side also recognize these facts, and are probably doing something about it.
I love my curves, I just hate the excess. I’m losing weight not to be a stick (That’s gross), but because I want to.
Don’t know where I’m going on this, but those are my thoughts on fat acceptance.
Wow…I read your post…and I don’t think you were being a bitch…but it definetly seems like you hit a nerve.
I am 40lbs overweight…and if I lose that 40lbs I will still not be at my lowest “healthy body weight” according to my dr…I’ll be in the bottom half. My ideal body weight is 125-145…
My step dad is morbidly obese. I have listened for years about how diabetes is in his family…it has nothing to do with the weight…if only he could walk more but he has bad knees…after “this” surgery I will be more active and lose the weight…I eat a banana for breakfast, and grilled chicken for lunch…
I have heard it all…even when he tells me about the 2 hot dogs and fries he had on his way over…or the breakfast burritos he at the other day…I hear it.
I have tried to get him on one of those meal delivery deals, so that he could start to eat heathier…but apparently THAT isn’t his problem..he just needs to walk more….Ugh…So, yes, there is a big problem with delnial, and acceptance that he is fat but it’s really NOT his fault…
When I call and he doesn’t answer…I get worried…When I tell him I’m worried, he laughs at me…he is doing the best that he can…and then tells me about the ice cream he got when he left my house that last time…Sigh…
He knows his risk…no one said that this notion of accepting your situation means you dont’ know you have a choice to stop putting BAD food in your mouth, or that you don’t know what you are doing to your body…It IS about not loving yourself enought to STOP doing it…She didn’t say you need to look like runway models to be healthy…I think the SMART one’s know better….
At 40 lbs of extra weight, I have trouble up the stairs, my knees hurt, I have heartburn, and a few other issues…AT 150+ lbs over you are talking more serious…and the BEST/WORST part is that it IS completely preventable…COMPLETLY within YOUR power to change it…YOU have CONTROL…and you wishywash it all away calling other people insensitive or bitches because they say “acceptance is NOT the answer”…Sigh…
Tought but firm argument…I wish it could make an impact on my step dad…my kids love him dearly, but I fear he won’t be around long enough to share all the joys of their lives…
Funny, the only asshole I see is you. Do you really think making fun of fat people will help cure the problem? Like you and the rest of the non FA haters on this page, you people are not helping what so ever. In fact your ignorance is only helping the Fat Acceptance movement.
She isn’t ‘hating’ anyone. Don’t be so immature.
What’s immature is taking time that could be done doing something contructive; ANYTHING constructive, and writing this for no reason at all–it doesn’t help anything. Besides, if people want to like being fat, let them do that. Truth is, plenty of people (that includes overweight folks) hate being fat and feel that it is wrong. They want to change and they’re daily like revolves around it. However, like many things some people have an easy time of it and some don’t. I’d like to believe that I’m fine the way I am but I know that isn’t true and I’m sure many people have that same idea. Fat acceptance and the ‘movement’ behind it, are no where near as strong as the ideas it wants to fight and I highly doubt that’ll be changing any time soon. Even if it does take some hold, before long the same feelings of worthlessness and desire to change will reclaim their hold undoing any hope of self-esteem. So, writing something like that is pretty much pointless and indeed imature. There are more things to be angry about than a movement that isn’t going anywhere.
Well, this has been a really hot topic. To say now…I think that some parts of the “Fat Acceptance” movement are total crap. However, some of the parts of it are not.
A little background on me. I messed up my own metabolism when I was in 4th grade by sitting and becoming addicted to television. I never ate bad for me foods as a child, always ate healthy well balanced foods, but because of my genetics, and the fact that I would not go outside and run and play…well, I went to 145lbs in 4th grade. (could also be because I had NO one to play with, I am an only child and we lived out in the boonies with no neighbors around).
From that point on all I heard from my mother was…you have such a pretty face, if you would only lose some weight. Coupled with many, many other children and peers making fun of “the fat girl”. When I played games in PE, they would say that I was causing an earthquake (I was tall as well as heavy in school). Imagine what that does to a child…and it never stopped. Middle school, high school and early college…all the same. I still hear it…you would be so pretty if…aren’t I pretty now.
I am 5′5″ tall and weigh 269lbs. Fat..right? Well, guess what…I have lost 12lbs. That is quite a lot to most people. Yes, I have more to lose, but hey, I have lost 12lbs.
yes, I know that being overweight is unhealthy, and yes, I am doing something about it…but the part of the fat acceptance movement that I support is this..
MOST (not all) “skinny” people who don’t like fat people, or the fat acceptance movement “make fun” of fat people. Call them names, say hurtful things, etc. Well, take it from a fat person…it hurts. and here is a little tidbit…IT DOES NOT HELP!!!! If anything, it will make the problem worse. When someone hurts me, I will do anything I can to make myself feel better. Now..that is working out, trying a new makeup style, talking a walk with my children…etc., but it used to be eating. Before I was married, I ate when someone hurt me. You wanna know why…because food will never let you down, and it never says hurtful things.
So to you all who believe that it is OK to say something hurtful to someone because they are fat. To all of you people who think you are “helping” us when you say those things….you are not. You are making it worse. Here are some suggestions
Make friends with someone who is overweight. Love them for the person on the inside. THEN, live by example. Take them out to eat, instead of ordering a humongous meal just for yourself, ask them if they would like to splis a meal. If you invite them over for dinner…cook something nutritious, low calorie, yet wholesome and filling. When you give them gifts, gift them with simple, low cost recipies that are nutritous and can be made with simple things. Suggest healthy, yummy alternatives to their favorite foods, even making them for them as gifts, ask if they want help losing weight..if THEY bring it up. Lend support, unconditional, loving, support, be there for them, do not be hateful, spiteful, or hurtful.
Again, saying hurtful things does not help. MOST heavy adults know the risks they are taking, and most will not change until they feel comfortable doing so. Weight is not just about eating and not excercising, it’s about deeper problems rooted in the mind that cause us to hold onto things we do not need. It is an addiction that cannot be helped until we want to help ourselves, it is a disease that has to be cured within ourselves.
Yes, “acceptance” is not the answer, and yes the majority of overweight adults can do something about it but choose not to…you wanna know what the answer is.
Get rid of artificial anything in all of our food, put fast food out of business, make healthy good affordable, and most of all…what everyone can do…be supportive of efforts of the “heavy” person that IS trying to make a difference in their lives, don’t assume that all of us are pigs, and don’t make fun of ANY heavy person….as it is liable to make them turn to food more often.
Obese children…well, don’t make fun of them either..help them as well (if at all possible), don’t blame them…they are a product of their environment most times. Blame the parents.
Fat Acceptance is a crock in most ways, but being hurtful to a fat person is not acceptable either. Be fair, be friendly, and be supportive of ANY effort that they make.
C. B.
I love those people who try to say that many fat people eat normally. If that were the case, then most people would be fat naturally.
In France, the obesity rate is 9.4%, in Japan and Korea its 3.2%. Many of these people are obese because they are too sedentary and eat too much.
So, maybe 1~2% are genetically disposed to be obese in most societies. In the US, it is 30%.
So, if you want to change your disposition to refuse to be ashamed of being fat, FINE….but being FAT SHOULD NOT BE AN ENDGOAL.
A healthy lifestyle (eating under 2500 calories) with low sat and trans fats and exercising (and it doesn’t have to mean going to the gym everyday) SHOULD BE THE GOAL.
If that is your goal, you will eventually reach your ideal weight, and then you can be sad for no longer being apart of the fat acceptance group.
i’ve been fat since a baby except for the 7 years i dieted and excercised and lost 169 pounds. now i am suffering from all kinds of health problems due to this dieting. i was also severely depressed and had suicidal tendencies. the doctors told me the weight loss did me more harm than good. so why don’t you skinny people that can eat whatever you want and not gain weight just shut up. you will die of the same things. heart attack, cancer, diabetes, etc. it’s all in the genes and it’s all hereditary. so worry about yourselves and leave us fat people alone. we are happy.
I recently got to the point where I was considered “obese”. I could not reach my toes without gasping for air. I felt horribly uncomfortable in my clothes. It was awful, but I had gotten to a place in my life where I was just accepting it. Did that help? No. So, I called up a diet program and got back on track. I have only lost about 16 pounds of the weight I want to lose- have another 50-60 to go- but I feel so much better. Physically, I feel better. I can breathe better. I can sleep better. I am more active and have more energy.
So, yeah, it may seem easier to accept it but anyone who has been there knows it is physically and emotionally harder, even if everyone around you pats you on the back for your weight.
This article is spot on. I am sick of hearing about this bullshit. It’s just another aspect of today’s political correctness.
I was always skinny myself, so I know personally that some people are predisposed to be heavier than others. However, heavier means maybe borderline between normal weight and overweight, not 50 pounds + beyond the upper weight limit.
Of the considerable number of overweight people that I know, ALL of them eat excessive amounts of food, and generally unhealthy food at that. I also know that if I were to eat that much, despite predisposition to being skinny, I’d end up like them or close.
People who yell “fat acceptance” with a donut in one hand and a milk-laden coffee with sugar in the other will get no sympathy from me. Same goes for people who pity themsevles, saying that it’s all hereditary. Genetics only go so far. It’s simple logic. Spend more energy than your intake of calories and you cannot help losing weight. And that doesn’t mean, starve yourself and excercise ’till exhaustion.
Fat acceptance is refusal to take responsibility. If someone chooses to keep overeating unhealthy foods while not exercising at all, that’s fine. But then, they should not complain about having to pay for 2 airplane tickets because they can’t fit in one seat, sue the fast food companies or feel discriminated because the other sex does not find them attractive.
At 5′9″ and 255 pounds, I had weight-loss (gastric bypass) surgery a year ago. I’ve lost 70 pounds and have another 20 or so to go. Best decision I ever made. I was fat but not at all happy about it.
I agree with Jessica on this one. There is a difference between a healthy lifestyle and fat acceptance. I’m sorry, but people who are morbidly obese and claim they cannot change it are in denial. I’m tired of seeing young kids getting gastric bypass because it’s in their “genes”.
and yes, I’ve been fat. It sucks and it’s hard to lose weight but it can be done. It’s a daily challenge for some people but it CAN BE DONE.
This is good. I can forgive an adult and even myself for my weight, but when I see 100 lb 5 year olds, I see red. Wrong! That is all about the parents. Fat kids don’t shop. fat babies did not acquire a taste for sugar and cheese and never a vegetable, their parents did that. The clean plate club? not their idea. I have friends with obese children that marvel at my kids adventurous eating…because they’ll eat romaine lettuce. Whoo-ey. These kids view spaghtetti sauce with suspicion. Imagine if they knew my kids ate kiwi, onions, squash, quinoa, mushrooms, capers, calamata olives, broccoli, tomatoes, spinach, cilantro, pomegranates, … Okay, one thing which is my fault they don’t eat is eggplant because as much as I try, I hate the god-foresaken stuff. :)
oh, and whatever you do, don’t look at this:
http://www.cheeseandburger.com/
Someone stumbled it to me. I admit it. It made me drool after I was feeling all empowered about loosing weight for my birthday today.
Gah!
It does suck. Believe me it does.
It also sucks, being conned into believing that you are worthless if you don’t weigh 115lbs and are a size 2.
It sucks, sticking your finger down your throat after you eat, in order not to add another pound onto your morbidly obese frame.
It sucks because for the longest time, growing up, I was told I was beautiful…I had the perfect body. I didn’t notice it, didn’t care. It’s just the way I was built. But someone did notice…the man who married my mother.
Years later, my son died.
I ate to drown the pain of burying my two year old. Before that I ate to bury the 125lb young woman with the 34D chest and great ass. No one would “admire” her if she were buried in fat.
And now? Now I’m clawing my way back, desperately and trying to get angry NOW…really angry for the first time in my life that I let someone do the things they did and didn’t get angry THEN.
This is a miserable way to live. It’s not fun.
However, let me get one thing patently clear. I don’t want people to accept that the morbidly obese should be loved the way they are and that it’s cool. It’s not cool. We’re a drain on the medical system, our loved ones and ourselves. What is NOT cool is to ostracize women like me – treat us like we’re somehow stupid, unintelligent cows, lesser human beings because we’re fat. It’s not cool to be demeaned and belittled in front of others. It’s not cool to be made fun of and to teach your children to make fun of or belittle the obese.
Treat us like human beings and perhaps we’ll start to feel like we owe it to ourselves to start taking care of ourselves like we are indeed valued and have a right to be here.
I understand that not every morbidly obese person has some issue in their background they are trying to “bury.” I do understand that some have metabolic issues, (I have been told I have Hashimoto’s Disease but I don’t believe it and therefore don’t take the medication. It makes me ill anyhow. I’m fat. Hashimoto’s does not cause an otherwise healthy female to gain 175+lbs., and for some it might be genetic or just a simple lack of willpower. It doesn’t mean that their way of life needs to be accepted as normal, but it also doesn’t mean they deserve to be treated as if they are criminals.
Hmmm… Hashimoto/hypothryoidism can make losing weight impossible. I think I started down the hypo hell road at about 10 years old and I started noticing a bulge in my throat.
My doctor said I “might” become hypo, but, he wasn’t going to do anything about it until it showed up more on the test (technically I WAS… I still have the labs). He said I had Hashimoto Disease.
My teen years body was was strange. I would gain and lose weight (20 lbs) eating and getting the same amount of exercise. I think my thyroid was dying. It was cycling between hyper and hypo.
The doctor would do nothing. Just tell me to eat less… I finally stopped cycling and just started to gain. That led to more depression. Mean words from skinny a-holes didn’t make it any better. They made it worse.
*sarcasm*
No wonder I was so depressed, losing my hair, cold all the time and so damn tired, doc! I was fat…. *rolls eyes*
Why, oh why has fat-bashing suddenly become the torture du jour? I am tall, overweight by a considerable margin, and in perfect health. Cholestorol: perfect. Blood sugars: perfect. No family history of heart disease or diabetes. We live so long we eventually die of…cancer. Yes, I have been “acceptably thin,” but it took rigorous exercise, starvation, and bulimia. I love my big, luxurious body, I love my curves, I even love my bulges.
I hate people who make ridiculous generalizations like “Fat Acceptance Is Bullshit.” The author must really despise herself to need to put her argument the way she does. Jessica, which part of your body do you hate the most? Inquiring minds want to know.
Jessica, saying this as a woman who has fought for more than a year working to lose weight, kindly get a stick and pry your head out of your ass.
Overweight people face more than enough torment without your help. I am 5′0, I was obese, and I am still fighting to change that, and it is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I have faced bullying all my life because of my weight, which for years only made me become heavier, more introverted and more bitter towards society. Last year, I hit a man who had the audacity to call me fat in a public pool. I then called my mother and cried for nearly an hour because I had lost 20 pounds at that point, and until that man called me a whale and called me fat to my face, I was proud of myself. Yes, sometimes the fat chick can stand up to our bullies, but more often than not, we end up back at our addiction (and yes, I consider it an addiction, every day you get up and you are another day into quitting smoking) because when you hurt, you medicate the only way you know how.
You’re a confidence stealing, anti-inspirational bully. You’re the reason why young girls hate their bodies. You’re the reason why adult women still cry some nights because they’re sick of being treated like they’re lesser beings but just cant muster the strength to endure your stares when they try the treadmill at the gym. You are a blight on humanity. I hope that one day, you call the wrong person fat and they strike back and find the weakness in your armor and drive you to your knees, and I hope that I am there to see it.
Enjoy your vegetables, cause in your honor tonight, I’m having veal.
If by “acceptance” you mean being an enabler, then I’m with you. However I don’t think that means it’s ok to insult people for their habits or appearance.
I agree that a balanced diet and regular exercise are important parts of a healthy lifestyle, but this post has me thinking that if you meet me, the health freak who is currently heavier than she should be, you will be judging me for my current size and shape without even knowing me.
I think it’s important to work on improving ourselves, our health, and take care of ourselves. I also think that mean people calling you fat and judging you isn’t the best motivation and isn’t very different to school bullies.
from, I meant from :-)
I’m almost with you. Fat isn’t a bad word. It’s a descriptive word. Not being able to say it means that no one is allowed to fix it.
Smokers smell like smoke and people who overeat get fat. It’s a cause and effect. The thing is that it’s tied into morbidity and children are obese at alarming rates.
Talking about it all very frankly and without insult would be very helpful.
Fat acceptance might be bullshit but the discrimination that some obese people endure is real.
personally i found this message to be very hateful and unnessasary. people are all shapes and sizes, and most can’t help the size that runs in their genes. i agree that morbid obesity is avoidable and that people shouldn’t be that weight… and yet we can still glorify the underweight A-sexual looking models as they walk down runways and pose in magazines. as many have said before, its all the same, just 2 different sides of the spectrum. where do you stand?
right now, u look like a pompus hating bitch of a person who would spit on the first overweight person you would see. but what will u tell the child whos body structure will never allow her 2 be smaller than a size 12? should she go and hang herself because she’ll never be acceptably thin and perfect. i’m sorry 2 read blogs like yours, because its people like you, that influence people to develope eating disorders – all because their body type is displeasing 2 you and you don’t want them to be proud of who they are.
I agree with you completely, especially your last paragraph. It is people like this woman here who breed things like low-selfesteem and insecurity. She’s against people supporting being over weight but she might as well be saying that you can’t be happy and fat at all. Fat is the worst thing ever, fat is just as bad as cancer.
What’s wrong with a little pride anyway huh? I’d really like to know. Considering that society and the people in it say the coldest words they can, do the worst they can, do anything they can to put down the opposing side—no one who accepts and loves themself is bullshit. However, what is bullshit is the fact that you (Gottlieb), who claims to be a mother can contribute to all the hatred, bigotry, and cruelty in the world with no regrets and no shame. No mother, no self respecting person can do that kind of thing to anybody no matter what their issue is.
There is a way to disagree with something or someone with out being mean to them.
And lastly, the author said that she was the friend who says stop killing yourself…no friend puts you down, no friend attacks self-esteem. That’s the self-centered wench who lives in a bubble (and had better be as flawless as they come if she’s going to put down ANYBODY).
Thank you for taking the time to discuss this issue. I truly appreciate it. I
I’m all for loving yourself. However, we as Americans take this idea and turn it into self-righteous arrogance with a heaping helping of denial and ignorance. The fact is, obesity stems from a lack of self-control and responsibility. You may hate me for saying this, but our society is obsessed with gluttony and overindulgence- generations of “I am special” delusionals who want everything and do nothing. I see a lot of parallels between the obesity epidemic and the financial crisis. In both situations, people are consuming excessively but not wanting to pay the price of their recklessness. It would be all fine and dandy if we lived in a world where one’s actions only affected them and their family. However, society bears much of the costs associated with obesity. Whether it is insurance premiums, costs of medical care, airplane seats, public assistance, etc., we end up paying a lot for someone’s inability to control themselves. Yes, it is psychological, but what the hell isn’t? And don’t get me started on genetics. As experts say ad nauseaum, genetics are the loaded gun, but you pull the trigger. And if you are convinced it is your genetics, stop freakin’ breeding! And how dare people compare fat acceptance to civil rights! No matter which way you spin the donut, obesity is a CHOICE, and a poor one at that. I will tolerate you as a person, but will not accept and glorify your commitment to destroying your health. The only way I will join the fat acceptance movement is if all people who fall in the category of obese and severely overweight take 100% responsibility for the costs of their current and future care, and if they sign their children over to responsible adults. Yep, not gonna happen, cause if people were willing to take responsibility for themselves, they wouldn’t be fat in the first place.
To all the people calling for unquestioning support of obesity and faulting the blogger for calling people on their denial – please reexamine your logic. The people in the Fat Acceptance Movement have wrapped themselves up with one another’s justification, blaming the rest of society for their weight. By your argument that ought to restore a burnished self-image and launch them straight into shape. But over the years all we have seen is their rank swelling. Now the majority of Americans is overweight.
I am from China, and for most of us it is a pleasure to eat fresh, delicious, balanced and lovingly prepared meals until we are poised happily between craving and satiation. Then we stop. That stopping – cognizant, natural, and sparkling with the beauty of moderation and pure instinct – has no name in this culture. Looking at the above comments, even those who recognize the problems with obesity acknowledge in principle that obesity is harder to kick than other addictions because food is essential and cannot be abstained from. That misses the vital point of food’s sacredness. American society believes that unlimited sugar, fat and salt must be endlessly tempting. Perhaps it’s our legendary poor math skills? We don’t understand the concept of diminishing marginal returns. Or is it our equation of materialism and physical desires with the highest end in life? I am not sure.
I came to this country as a teenager, and it’s been a quarter-century. Yes, Americans have gotten much fatter. Just look at your own family photos from the fifties to the seventies, if you have any. It’s time that changes. We can’t afford to keep doing this any more.
“Get up, move and eat less”
I know this is really amazingly shocking to you, but there are some fat people that do those things and are still fat.
If people are fat because of genetics, eating disorders, liking to just eat, whatever, it doesn’t mean that such people are worthy of being treated like pieces of shit. It’s that simple. Fat people are people first and foremost. How they choose to deal with their fatness is no one’s business but theirs. Fat Acceptance is first and foremost about not dicrminating against people and hating them and calling them disgusting and continuing to see them as flat one dimennsional caricatures. Fat people have a variety of experiences: some of them eat a lot, some of them don’t, some of them have eating disorders, some of them go to the gym, some of them don’t. In short they are just like other people I know it’s amazing!
I know what’s bullshit: this whole hateful screed against people that you think don’t deserve to exist or live in body sizes, which you don’t find pleasant to look at. It’s patronizing and condescending too as if fat people don’t know they are fat and don’t notice that all of our culture is basiclaly screaming at them, and shaming them to get smaller.
This is not about health and trying to “help” fatties. This is about your bigoted hateful disgust.
I suggest you read this, written by a very thin woman, and educate yourself a little about the complexities of fatness before you spout off more hate.
http://meganmcardle.theatlantic.com/archives/2009/07/thining_thin.php
At least get this quote from the above post:
“…you do not have anything interesting to say to someone who is struggling with obesity. You do not have better willpower than they do. You do not “care about myself” more. You are not more “serious about a healthy lifestyle” because you took off the eight pounds you gained at Christmas. You are no more qualified to lecture the obese on how to lose weight than I am qualified to lecture my short friends on how to become tall. You just have a different environmental and genetic legacy than they do. You’re not superior. You’re just somewhat thinner.”
I typed in “fat acceptance is bullshit” and found your site:) But to add to your points, being a fat adult is a choice. Everyone knows that racism is an ugly reality, so they want to align their “struggle” with race. However, no one chooses his/her race. Being fat is analogous to choosing to take steroids to be hugely muscular, or choosing to tattoo my head. Should I be surprised if some people don’t like that? No. And I shouldn’t press the whole society to accept my choice.
@silentbeep, “This is not about health and trying to “help” fatties. This is about your bigoted hateful disgust.” So? Why can’t people be disgusted when looking at fatties? It’s not like the fat person thought people want to see that; it’s not like fat people even want to see that! Fat people choose their lifestyle which results in them being fat (minus the .01% with actual thyroid issues). If I chose to not bathe, groom myself and ate from the garbage you wouldn’t call it bigoted hateful disgust when you covered your nose from my body odor.