The Most Fun I Ever Had in Bed

by Jessica Gottlieb on February 11, 2009 · 23 comments

The other night I came to bed with my iPhone. It didn’t seem particularly unusual to my husband since I often stream audiobooks or This American Life and listen to it instead of sports while I go to sleep.

It was a cold night, so I turned my back to my husband, cradled the iPhone near my gut and piled on the blankets.

“Oh, my stomach hurts.” I groaned to him.

And then I pressed this button.l1070777

And there was a farting sound.

Because he loves me, my husband ignored it.

The second time iFarted I giggled and groaned and my husband declared, “I sure hope that stops soon.”

“Honey, I’m really sorry. I think I ate something bad today.” I offered up, “Just don’t lift the covers”.

Then I laughed like a 12 year old boy hyena and pressed iFart 3 or 4 more times.

He started with a plaintive, “Honey!” and quickly escalated to, “What the fuck is the matter with you?” and, “Please go to the bathroom, I think you’re going to shit the bed.”

All the while I’m laughing and pressing and convulsing with laughter, because I think we all know that the only thing funnier than a fart, is tricking your husband.

Just as my husband was growing terribly alarmed, I pulled the phone out and showed him the app.

Honestly, it was the most fun we’ve ever had in bed.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Jessica Gottlieb » Introducing: My Father
February 12, 2009 at 12:03 am
Prank Calling: Good Parents… and Me | Jessica Gottlieb
February 26, 2009 at 9:04 am

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

1 SoreThumb February 11, 2009 at 6:46 am

“LOL”. What else can I say? I was stifling laughter as this post just got worse and worse. XD

iFart must be incredibly convincing.. or you must pass some crazy gas, Jessica :P

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2 Carlota February 11, 2009 at 8:48 am

OMG, I think I scared my dog laughing so much. That is hilarious Jessica, I am emailing this to my husband at work.

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3 miche February 11, 2009 at 8:51 am

I seriously sat giggling like a schoolgirl at this one. It actually made me wonder for a sec if the doc downloaded the same app last night but I don’t think your app can contribute that sort of smell- yet.

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4 CTR1, US Navy February 11, 2009 at 9:53 am

Carlota-

To late; I already read it. And startled my co-worker laughing so hard! That would be an awesome joke on the ship.

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5 Laura February 11, 2009 at 11:11 am

Too hilarious for words!

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6 the slackmistress February 11, 2009 at 11:21 am

I have a fart story that I shall be blogging later…but it doesn’t end as happily for all involved… ;)

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7 aimee February 11, 2009 at 11:22 am

And this was the most fun I’ve ever had reading a post!

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8 Katee February 11, 2009 at 11:26 am

Dying laughing!! LOL that is too funny. What is funnier though is that instead of using iFart I just do the real thing. Serious. Don’t lift the sheets!

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9 annie February 11, 2009 at 1:23 pm

OMG! That was too funny. My husband has to read this.

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10 Cyndi February 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm

I downloaded this app after you mentioned in a tweet that this was the only app you actually paid for. It is so worth it and I played similar tricks with my husband…although not in bed so i will steal with pride this idea ;)

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11 Justin Schmidt February 11, 2009 at 9:46 pm

Gotta love iphone fart apps. Did you see this post by TUAW on the plethora of fart apps? Pretty funny: http://www.tuaw.com/2009/02/10/31-fart-apps-in-90-seconds/

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12 magpie February 12, 2009 at 12:37 pm

LOL – My sister needs this. Can I gift an app to her? Hmm…

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13 TheFinalBob February 13, 2009 at 1:06 pm

this is stupid.

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14 Karen Smithey February 14, 2009 at 12:08 am

Joel pulled the iFart on all of us. He laughed and laughed, and we did, too.

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15 Juliana Marie February 26, 2009 at 11:39 am

I love this, and a guy I know may be sorry I read it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

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16 Bud June 16, 2009 at 2:02 pm

If this is the most fun you have ever had in bed maybe you should try anal sex.

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17 Mik June 16, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Hilarious but it wouldn’t faze my wife, she used to me farting anyway!

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18 Lucky June 16, 2009 at 5:02 pm

Most fun you’ve ever had in bed?….I’m sorry.

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19 Sam July 5, 2009 at 3:15 am

its not that fun

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20 nancy November 17, 2009 at 9:37 pm

I’m sitting here alone at 11:30 at night laughing hysterically. This is too funny and just what I needed to end the night!

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21 Teacher November 18, 2009 at 8:22 am

Now that you conditioned him to the I-fart, fool him tomorrow by eating brussel sprouts, onions and eggs before bed. Then do a REAL one and laugh as his expression slowly changes as he gets a whiff.

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