My eleven year old daughter desperately wants to wear a bikini, and just this morning I explained to her (for the 800th time) that she would wear a tankini instead. A tankini shows a bit of belly, but essentially looks like a tank top and swim bottoms. I’d considered letting Jane wear a bikini this year. I figured she’d be so uncomfortable in it that she’d beg for a one piece, but the reality is that I can’t bring myself to sexualize my eleven year old daughter.
My job as her mother is to allow her age appropriate opportunities. Eleven is a great age, Jane should enjoy it.
Our kids attend a school where they wear uniforms each day. When discussing the uniform issue with a middle school educator he said, “I worry that girls put on clothing that they don’t really want to wear.” That resonated with me.
Here’s a video of seven year old girls dancing to the Beyonce Single Ladies song. These kids are clearly incredibly talented. The dancing is polished, and I’m sure the Laker Girls would be envious of more than a few moves. I just question the judgment of the parents. My daughter and most of her friends would not be allowed in that competition, I have a hard time imagining the parents who thought it was cute.
When is dancing too suggestive?
I have an easier time imagining Dita Von Teese wearing these outfits than a seven year old child.
I found myself very careful about the wording on this post, as I’m quite certain that there’s a ped0phil3 community that is searching for content just like this.
UPDATE: The video has been pulled due to copyright issues after it was viewed 2,000,000 times. Here is a link where you can see it.
I know at least one person will call me puritanical. I’m okay with that.
This just wouldn’t fly in my house, or in my friends’ houses.
UPDATE: The girls are actually eight and nine, per their parents.
UPDATE May 16: of course the video has resurfaced. It’s a fantasy to think that they’d get it pulled from every venue.
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this is why i skipped dance lessons for my daughter. it’s ten year training to be 1) disappointed you aren’t good enough to be a professional classical/modern dancer 2) or plenty good enough to be a well paid stripper, exotic dancer or 3) well-equipped with good moves in the bedroom for your fifteen year old boyfriend, moves you really don’t need for any authentic sexual experience with someone you don’t have to perform for, no matter what age you discover sex.
Provocative at 8 becomes trouble at 12 and self-loathing at 20. I wore a bikini when I was your daughter’s age. However, our bikinis didn’t have strings or padding. Just saying. Regardless, I found this video pretty atrocious. I admire the girls’ skills but I think that they can be displayed in a more positive and less degrading way. At the end of the day, I blame the parents, who think that it’s okay for young girls to demean themselves and compete on a foundation of sex. So what do these girls need? Appropriate boundaries, more education about sex, more self-worth and self-esteem and a better view of what they can achieve without shaking their booties. Look, we can’t keep this stuff away from kids; that’s the world that we live in. But we don’t have to encourage it either.
GOOD GRIEF! 7 going on 17. Who are these parents? I grew up dancing and cheering from a young age and yes we wore a little too much make-up but we were CLOTHED and our ‘moves’ were extremely tame. It was more about dance and less about attracting sexual predators.
As for bikinis. There will be no bikinis worn in this house. I only allow my 3 year old daughter to wear a tankini because it makes going to the bathroom easier (and less chilly) for her. Otherwise she’d be in a one-piece, just like her mama.
Boundaries people!
The problem I have with the dance is not the moves – which, like the original, are not really very sex-oriented at all, but more acrobatic and complicated – but the costumes. Even in the original video, Beyonce wore a full leotard, which is exactly what girls at dance recitals should be wearing, minus the heels. I have absolutely no clue why the costume designer would put them in such inappropriate costumes. That’s the main glaring problem with the dance.
And “good grief,” let your 3 year olds wear European-style bathing suits, which are bottoms only for girls too. Making her wear a tankini top only unnecessarily sexualizes the non-sexed prepubescent body as well!
Funny, I actually found the moves more disturbing than the costumes – as you say, the boy-short-type bottoms and wide tops are only sexual if you sexualize 7 year olds. I don’t like or encourage either the dance moves or the costumes – but the moves had serious hip and chest shaking and moves like sex – it was disturbing to see them move their bodies that way.
Good Morning America had the parents of one of the girls on the show, you can can watch the segment on their website. It didn’t change the the fact that I would not allow my daughter to participate in dance like this. It did, however, illuminate the reality that dance competitions in this vein have their own culture (not one I need to be involved with!) Also, the group is from Los Angeles, many things here are skewed when it comes to pop culture.
Postscript… watching the 2 parents on GMA this morning proves one thing. They’re out of touch with reality. To say you didn’t intend this performance to get on the Internet? Really? Who put it up there? To say that the dance clothes were designed for MOVEMENT and to show the girls definition / body clearly is ridiculous. A costumer with decency would not have created something for the “Boom Boom Room” as is now being referred to online. Yes, they are talented and if that is what it takes to be successful with a competition then I say it’s time to not participate and find something else for our daughters to be involved in.
From GMA interview with a few of the parents: “The video wasn’t intended to be seen by millions”.
My Response: Then WTF did you allow it to be put on Youtube?
I wish my girls wore a school uniform. As a kid/teen, I secretly liked wearing a school uniform. I did not like the way I looked in clothes. The shapeless pleated skirt, baggy v-neck sweater, and knee socks hit the spot with me.
My tween and teen girls regularly tell me of girls who wear micro shorts to school or spaghetti straps. Sometimes the girls are caught, sometimes not. Sister Victoire — my school’s headmistress — would have solved the problem of inappropriate clothes at school by requiring girls to change in to clothes from the “lost and found and never-washed bin.” Girls who flaunted the school uniform dress code had to dig around for a replacement uniform item in the lost and found bin. Most of the girls were not repeat offenders.
Having taken dance lessons for years, I know for a fact that these little girls should never have been taught this dance. Most sane people would be wanting their little girls being taught tap, instead of this smut. Its more likely that the dance instructor is to blame, since they’re the ones teaching the dance, but the parents also have a responsibility to know what is being taught and to speak out if its not appropriate.
Great article. The video started out bad and got worse. The ending was sickening. I can’t imagine what the parent’s excuse for letting the children participate in that program was. Little girls have been dancing and winning awards for a long time. Selling the sexuality of seven year olds is a gimmick, it isn’t relevant to being a dancer or a great dancer.
What the heck is malfuctioning in these parents heads.
I dont even want to think of how many child molesters
watch this video for their “Enjoyment”…and you idoit
stand around wondering why our little girls are getting
raped and molested when you hand out perv candy such
as this….. common sense people come one!!!
We danced when I was a child/teen. We did our own moves, and they had to be okayed by teachers and parents before performances. They were never ever sexual. It wasn’t even an option, and anything REMOTELY suggestive would be scrapped. As a mother to a seven month old, this makes my blood run cold. True, the girls may not think they’re doing anything wrong, but there will be plenty of the wrong kind of people getting way too much of the wrong kind of pleasure from it. And it really freaked me out when that girls dad (on your next post) said that this was meant to be viewed around family and friends, not on the internet – does he not know that most sexual abuse is BY family or friends?
I completely agree that this is age-inappropriate. I am not a fan of dance lessons to begin with (maybe because I have 2 left feet myself, but more likely because there is the possibility that something like this will be taught to my daughter). Sex is everywhere in the media – we don’t need to encourage it further by dressing our kids like this or telling them it’s ok to dance like that at that age.
These girls are super talented, there’s no doubt about that. But what’s wrong with a little modesty and acting your age?
Considering how many young girls are abused and assaulted, I think this is highly inappropriate. I’m sure all the pedophiles are having a field day with this video…
Question the parents? What about the dance instructor who came up with the routine? I wouldn’t even want that person around my kid if she’s thinking it’s cute to have 8 year olds dance this way!
Parents should have been there prior to the actual performance in rehearsals to see what their children were learning. It’s the parents’ fault for not being more attentive to their children’s type of dancing that is age appropriate. Children grow up too fast as it is, without putting them into dance routines that are not appropriate to their age. You’re only a child for such a short time, children should enjoy it.
I don’t think you’re puritanical at ALL. I am certainly no prude, but little girls should be little girls. Not tarted up trollops in stripper training. It’s one thing for a grown adult woman to decide she wants to dance this way. That’s fine. It can even be empowering to showcase one’s sexuality like that.
But it’s not empowering for a seven year old child. It’s child abuse. Plain and simple. I honestly feel there should be charges brought here. And I’m not a person who thinks there should be laws against everything. But this is sick and disturbing.
A society that feels this is okay very much troubles me.
I also like your comment about school uniforms. I got out of high school the year before uniforms were instituted. And I’ve always been against things like school uniforms because it seems too controlling.
I hadn’t stopped to consider the emotional freedom it might give a young girl who doesn’t WANT to dress like a slut at school but who is afraid she won’t be popular if she doesn’t.
I watched the vedio of the little girls dancing and i thought it was just darling. We must remember that they are just little girls. If some of the dads have problems with their little outfits, maybe then they are veiwing the dancing from a too adult point of view. I know when i was just a little girl that age, i did not even realize the sexuality in many of the dancing or the lyrics in music playing. I just like the beat and the excitment of the music. These little girls probably feel the same way and they probably just like the prettiness of the outfits. I think that parents should let their children be free in their minds. Usually if parents don’t make abig deal about something, then the child will not think so far in advance as we do. The little girls have a lot of talent too. Those dance moves were pretty hard to move to and keep up with. I bet some of us adults could not move that fast and in beat. That is what the parents were suppose to notice is their little girls talent, not of the sexuality of the outfits. Remember the children are the center of attention, not the clothing they have on. Parents go home and tell the little girls how talented they are and how proud of them you are. They will be so happy because that is what they want to do is please their parents. Dads especially. Notice your daughters talent and mentally promote them. That way they will always stay daddy’s little girls.
It is because I am a father that I am concerned about this. I am not a prude by any means. I enjoy many moments of being loud and crass, but as an adult among other adults. I understand that the girls don’t recognize their outfits or moves as being adult in nature, but that doesn’t make it right.
I think that masturbation is perfectly normal and could careless if my kids do it, provided that it is done in an appropriate time and place. By your logic it is natural for them to start playing with themselves anywhere. I disagree. Little Johnny doesn’t get credit for stroking faster or more gracefully than others.
The routine and clothing could have been adjusted to reflect something age appropriate. Hell, if the outfits were appropriate the dance routine would have passed muster with me. But that combination, nope.
Barbara I agree the girls are athletic and the timing is very good. But these kids are forming their minds as well as their bodies. To say the girls aren’t learning how to attract attention with this thing they aren’t sure of – yet – called, “sexuality” is naive. When kids get screams and shouts of approval for anything it forms a big part of “How to get what I want out of life.” When those screams and shouts are tied to overt sexuality it is beyond naive to think at age 12 and 13 they won’t tie using their developing sexuality to get what they want. And how to use it? Why it’s on any computer, many magazines, and they will remember those screams and shouts of approval.
Watching this video made me concerned for these young girls 5-7 years from now. When I was a teenage girl, I was really shy about my sexuality and felt embarrassed by the fact that I remained a virgin while many of my peers were having sex. I can’t help but think that examples like this video create an expectation on girls that they should be overtly sexy and sexual whether or not they are emotionally and psychologically ready. Societal expectations and pressure are NOT a good reason for young girls (and boys) to go out and start having sex or to act sexy. That’s not to say I think it’s a good idea to institute rules that unnaturally suppress teenage sexuality and make young people feel embarrassed or shy away from normal sexual urges and feelings. But this video swings way too far in the opposite direction.
Should’ve known you’d already have weighed in on this and that we’d be on the same page.
The girls dancing don’t (or shouldn’t) know at that age that what they are wearing or doing is sexualized or provocative. But the adults in the equation should. Shame on the choreographer and the parents (who have been all over TV trying to justify it after the fact.)
My daughter got a tankini this year too. Not because she has been begging for a bikini for the past 2 years (she’s 7 now) but because it is cute on her without being sexualized and it makes the whole ‘sudden trip to the restroom’ easier.
Thanks for going the extra mile NOT to make this post attractive to the pedophiles and predators. There’s enough easy material out there for them without adding to it.
L.
The problem I have with the dance is not the moves – which, like the original, are not really very sex-oriented at all, but more acrobatic and complicated – but the costumes. Even in the original video, Beyonce wore a full leotard, which is exactly what girls at dance recitals should be wearing, minus the heels. I have absolutely no clue why the costume designer would put them in such inappropriate costumes. That’s the main glaring problem with the dance.
I find it appalling when parents not only allow this kind of crap, but actually encourage it. Beauty pageants for girls below the age of 18 should be outlawed, and if someone catches a child doing these sorts of things I do believe there should be some option for the parents to be flogged.
Life AIN’T an opportunity to appear on E! folks…
I want to say that my teenage granddaughter was not allowed to dress in just any style or manner before she hit her teenage years. She had input about the types of clothes that she would wear but if it was too mature for her at that time the answer was no. I think that if you’re not comfortable with your daughter wearing a bikini at this time-trying to compromise is the best way to work it out.
I got here too late to see the video, but that’s ok. I don’t need to see any more of these dances. I am a ballet teacher who taught for several years in these “competition schools”. I was initially horrified when I saw what they were doing. I tried to be tolerant and keep an open mind. I watched these young girls learn to swivel their skinny little hips, watched them put on their mini Madonna costumes, and watched them enjoying the certain kind of attention they got when they strutted their stuff, as instructed. I sat and listened to the families hoot and holler in the audience when their little daughters played sexpots. And I’ve sadly concluded that our culture is just sinking to the bottom. The studios sell what they think people will buy. The families buy what the studios are selling. The competition organizers should kick this stuff off the stage, but it’s all about the money, so they don’t. For those that would still like to find a decent dance education for their kids, I want to tell you that it’s out there … somewhere. You will have to look harder, because these places are generally small now, and they don’t have a high profile like the competition studios. They might look a little run down because they don’t have as many students, and they struggle with expenses. But there are a lot of excellent, committed teachers who really care about sharing the art form as they learned it, and giving their students a good fundamental education, with lessons they can use throughout their lives. It will be harder to find but KEEP LOOKING! Dance, when properly taught, is a wonderful way to learn about oneself, about a work ethic, about art and what it means for the soul, and is a beautiful foundation for a child’s life.
Dear God, what is up with those outfits? UGH!! That’s the WORST part of it. the dance wasn’t that big of a deal all up until the last 15-20 seconds of the video. The gyrating their hips down to the floor, and doing the pelvic thrusts were too much definitely. but the pirouettes were fantastic, all of them were. They’re fantastic. But the instructor that taught them the thrusts needs to be dragged out into the street and shot. That’s too much adult dancing for 7 year old girls.
I’m a mom of one 5 year old and one 2 1/2 year old. both girls. (and one 3 month old boy) but I cannot imagine allowing my 5 year old to go on stage in a recital wearing THAT and dancing like THAT! two years from now. i would be raising hell at that dance school. Parents are their children’s advocates, and if we don’t stand up for them, and their rights as children, who will? We are the ones that need to be telling ANY instructor that “Hey, my kid is far too young to be seeing and doing this.” those parents are idiots.
JG: I cosign your feelings on this. I actually posted my thoughts on this video yesterday; this morning, someone on MomDot directed me to your entries on it. I think it’s HORRIBLE. I wasn’t aware that they are 8 and 9 – I heard they were seven initially, as you did; but them being 1 and 2 years older makes no difference. It’s disappointing that ANY parent would condone this – then turn around and JUSTIFY it. Context? I’m with you on this one – this is absolutely NOT an issue of context. It’s an issue of piss poor judgment on behalf of these parents and a society completely devoid of any hint of morality as well as an absence of a sense of protection when it comes to our children’s innocence or preservation of their youth. In short, it’s a sad day… we live in very confusing, unfortunate times when children can be exploited in this way without anyone having to answer for it.
That’s just wrong. I couldn’t even watch the first 15 seconds of the video without wanting to throw up and then cry. How can parents, or dance teachers for that matter, possibly think this is acceptable?! My heart breaks for those girls.
I’m mortified watching that video. The obsession with fame in society is killing our culture and robbing kids of their childhood. Heck, it teens and adults of the ability to be authentic. Everything is done for the camera, for the spectator, for the crowd.
Those outfits were horrific. I can’t imagine any parent thinking that this was appropriate or cute. The dance? Talented dancers, for sure. But that dance was completely and utterly wrong for even a 14 year old. What is the push to make our daughters such objects? Why are people (aka media, advertisers, and retailers) pushing little girls to act like mini-adults? Money.
When my daughter was younger we could never find clothes that were right for her age. Even as a teen the shorts have a 1″ inseam, and the tops are completely revealing, and the bathing suits and camisoles all have padded bras. Okay, and don’t even get me started on 4″ heels for teen girls.
I have 3 daughters. I wanted to sign them up for dance a couple of years ago. They’re 8, 5 and 11 months. I went to see a few performances of difference dance studios and was shocked. I’m about as liberal as it gets in many ways-but watching little girls be dressed up like Britney outfits with full makeup, hair and sexy moves horrified me. The dance teachers aren’t teaching from traditional dance moves-they’re teaching from music videos.
Needless to say, I never signed my girls up for dance. My two oldest play a mean fiddle instead. :)
This video was so inappropriate that I feel dirty having watched it! And can’t watch it again!
The timing is great and athletic – but is it necessary to teach the girls how to bump and grind? I hope the parents don’t complain too loudly when their daughters make what they’ve learned their profession.
Oh my… Okay, hate to begin with praise, but these girls can dance! Imagine if they were actually doing a clothed routine – much easier to appreciate. It’s sickening to see such young girls be so talented… and waste it on little red straps of clothing and provocative moves. Seriously – they are insanely talented. All their hard work and dedication is evident – but they’re doing things I wouldn’t even dream of doing. And 1:42 – I think so anyway… WHY THE HELL ARE THEIR PARENTS LETTING THEM LOOK LIKE TOTAL TARTS! They look sixteen. At first glance, I thought it was all a piece of bull, and that they were in their late teens. Nope. They’re missing the things they’re shaking. Totally disgusting.
I do hope these girls go far – just with a different dance school, and clothing.
Those outfits are a bit skimpy but the girls don’t have anything to cover up anyhow. I would not go so far as to say it’s sick…but I don’t have a child so I don’t know how it would make me feel. I do think that all the attention and views this video is getting because of the spot light that’s been put on it by the media and all the “concerned” people is sick! That’s why everyone is watching the damn thing! I also think all the parents who say they are trying to save these girls from being “slutted” up are putting that onto those kids… I just know that somehow those words will get back to those little ears (I’m sure their peers will have a field day with it) and everything they worked so hard on and felt so innocently proud of will be replaced by a dirty feeling. (Isn’t that child abuse?) And that is something I don’t think they will ever forget. The girls are innocent and this is bound to hurt them a lot more than the actual dance competition ever could. It’s a parents job to protect their child but this is a very hypocritical way of going about that don’t you think? I’m sure they are getting tons of attention but not the attention they thought they would get from this. Kid’s aren’t stupid.
Yes, I wouldn’t want my daughter to be dancing like that, and I also blame the parents. But there have always been and will always be girls who dress and act way to sexy for their age and parents who encourage it (or at least do not try to stop them). There are also parents who let their little kids drink soda and bring candy to school for lunch. We just need to teach our kids to make their own choices, not to follow the crowd and know the difference between good and bad.
As a fourteen-year old dancer, I am disgusted by this. I would never do something like this. I would never allow a child to do this. Every one of my routines has been approved by my parents, along with costumes, always. When choreographing my solos, I frequently show my parents what I’m working on to get their approval. The idea of allowing something like this is horrible. In a few years, they will all deeply regret this, I’m sure of it.
I hope the kids never feel bad about it, but I fear they will. Those are talented girls. I hope the parents and the dance teacher feel awful.
Actually, I don’t care how they feel. I hope the parents and the dance teacher behave better next time. That would be a good outcome.
Yes, they are quite talented. They have excellent mastery of skills, and their fouttes are great. Those skills need to be put into a more appropriate dance, however. And yes, change of behavior in parents and dance teacher would be an excellent outcome.
Don’t miss this article. I love CC’s take on things.
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